Is peer pressure a good thing?

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Eric Barker  -  
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“…a funny thing happened as Allen continued to follow these kids every year for the next 10 years: the kids who felt more peer pressure when they were 12 or 13 were turning out better.”

Via blog.newsweek.com:

According to every pop theory of adolescence, peer pressure is peril. Being able to resist it should be considered a sign of character strength. But a funny thing happened as Allen continued to follow these kids every year for the next 10 years: the kids who felt more peer pressure when they were 12 or 13 were turning out better.

Notably, they had much higher-quality relationships with friends, parents, and romantic partners. Their need to fit in, in the early teens, later manifested itself as a willingness to accommodate ─ a necessary component of all reciprocal relationships. The self-conscious kid who spent seventh grade convinced that everyone was watching her learned to be attuned to subtle changes in others’ moods. Years down the road, that heightened sensitivity lead to empathy and social adeptness.

Meanwhile, those kids who did not feel much peer pressure to smoke, drink, and shoplift in seventh grade didn’t turn out to be the independent-minded stars we’d imagine. Instead, what was notable about them was that within five years they had a much lower GPA ─ almost a full grade lower. The kid who could say no to his peers turned out to be less engaged, all around, socially and academically. Basically, if he was so detached that he didn’t care what his peers thought, he probably wasn’t motivated by what his parents or society expected of him, either.

Allen has found that vulnerability to peers’ influence can be just as much of an asset as it is a liability. Many of the pressures felt by teens pull them in a good direction ─ they feel pressure to do well in school, pressure to not act childish, and pressure to be athletic. “We think of susceptibility to peer pressure as only a danger, but, really, it’s out of peer pressure that boys learn to take showers and not come to school smelly.”

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Are women more likely to remember their first pair of shoes than their first kiss?

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Via telegraph.co.uk

…more than 92 per cent of women could remember the first shoes they bought with their own money.

Less than two, however, in three recalled the name of the person they first kissed, the survey found.

Also interesting:

An overwhelming 96 per cent of women said they regretted having thrown away a pair of shoes, while only 15 per cent felt sorry at dumping a boyfriend.

More than 1,000 women were questioned about their feelings towards their footwear and what they could remember about their shoes compared to their relationship memories.

Previous research has shown that the average woman has 19 pairs of shoes.

But she only wears four pairs regularly and one quarter of the average woman’s shoes have only been worn once.

One in six women has more than 30 pairs of shoes in their closets, while a third have trouble finding the room to store then all.

On average, women purchase four pairs of shoes per year.

While the majority of women say their shoe buying habits have not created money problems, one in seven have hidden a new pair of shoes from their partner.

Six in ten women have regretted at least one shoe purchase.

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Is it good for toddlers to feel a little fear?

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No, mommy does not love you all the same:

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Is it really “the booze talking”?

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Via nytimes.com

In a series of studies in the 1970s and ’80s, psychologists at the University of Washington put more than 300 students into a study room outfitted like a bar with mirrors, music and a stretch of polished pine. The researchers served alcoholic drinks, most often icy vodka tonics, to some of the students and nonalcoholic ones, usually icy tonic water, to others. The drinks looked and tasted the same, and the students typically drank five in an hour or two.

The studies found that people who thought they were drinking alcohol behaved exactly as aggressively, or as affectionately, or as merrily as they expected to when drunk. “No significant difference between those who got alcohol and those who didn’t,” Alan Marlatt, the senior author, said. “Their behavior was totally determined by their expectations of how they would behave.”