Does keeping a romance secret make it more exciting?


Far from it. It’s actually bad for the relationship and unhealthy for the people involved:

Previous research on romantic secrecy found that hiding one’srelationship from others predicted lower levels of relationshipquality. The present research built on this work by exploringthe potential consequences of relationship concealment on partners’commitment level and personal health. Study 1 found that greatersecrecy was associated with reduced commitment to one’srelationship, lower self-esteem, and more reported health symptoms.Study 2 tested a theoretical model of the effects of secrecyusing structural equation modeling. This model was well supportedand suggests that romantic secrecy (a) undermines relationalcommitment by means of constraining cognitive interdependence(i.e., by limiting psychological closeness to one’s partner)and (b) poses a threat to partners’ personal health asa result of generating negative affect (e.g., nervousness andfear). These findings indicate that romantic secrecy may haveharmful consequences for both the relationship itself and thehealth of the partners involved.

Source: “Secret Romantic Relationships: Consequences for Personal and Relational Well-Being” from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin

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